My Grandfather was a minister and I grew up in church. But I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus until I was 12 years old. I became Born-Again and gave my heart to the Lord in 7th Grade when we had a "Faith Alive Weekend" at the Anglican church.
A group of people who were Born Again Episcopalians came to visit for the weekend, and after a potluck dinner that Friday night they told stories, or "testimonies" about their lives. They spoke about Jesus like they knew him, like he was their best friend. They talked about how they prayed and God answered their prayers. I wanted that. I wanted to know Jesus like that. They said that Jesus said you need to be Born Again. Huh? "What were they talking about?" I wondered.
They explained that first you were born as a baby, but then your spirit needs a new birth, to become connected to God. And you can only get connected through the blood of Jesus. Your parents can't do it for you, you need to make the decision for yourself. You need to ask Jesus to forgive your sins, cover you with his blood, and ask him to come into your heart. Then they said that Jesus said you can't get into heaven unless you're born again. Wait, WHAT?! I was the granddaughter of a minister, but it didn't matter. I had to make the decision for myself. I can't be "grandfathered in", literally! Well, I wanted to know Jesus. I wanted to be able to talk to him and have him talk to me like he talked to these people. Where I did I sign up?
They told us what to pray, so that night in my bed I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to come into my heart. I had my eyes closed and "saw" myself at the bottom of a deep, dark pit. Jesus was at the top, with light shining all around him, and he reached down and pulled me up out of the pit. For days after that I felt as though I was floating on air. It was amazing. I felt like a new person.
That morning, this group of charismatic, born-again Episcopalians marched down the aisle in between the robed altar boys and ministers ahead of my grandfather. They were singing loudly with all their heart, almost dancing, with their hands raised in the air! Boy oh boy, it was a sight! Those stuffy religious people in their suits and ties didn't know what was going on! A couple of "Faith Alive people" gave their testimonies, and then they asked if anyone would like to give their hearts to Jesus. Then they invited them to come to the altar. Half the church went up including me, my mother, my father and my sister.
Afterward, during coffee hour in the Parish Hall, they prayed for people. There was a woman at the church who had one leg much shorter than the other. She wore a special brace, and a shoe that had a sole that was about 5" thick. She hobbled up and down when she walked. They sat this woman down in a chair, laid hands on her and prayed for her to be healed. I watched her leg jerk. I thought someone had dropped her leg, but no! Her leg grew out right in front of my eyes! She was healed! I couldn't wait to go to school on Monday to tell everyone about this wild weekend and how I saw her leg grow. I didn't know yet that you weren't supposed to talk about these things in school, and that most people don't believe in these things. If I was an adult at the time I suppose that I probably would have rationalized it all, but I'm glad I was too young to be cynical.
My mother had been a Christian Scientist and believed in a lot of New-Age thought, and reincarnation. My father was an abusive man, and our house had always been like a war zone. But that Sunday my whole family was saved and went up for the altar call. My father was changed that weekend. (Unfortunately however over time he slipped back into his old ways, and I left home.) Half the church got saved that weekend, but my Grandfather did not feel it was necessary to be born again. It didn't fit his theology. He believed you only needed to be baptized as a baby and be confirmed as a teen. This event split up the church. The half that had a life changing experience that weekend all left our church and went to the Presbyterian church down the street that was evangelical and believed that being born again was necessary for salvation.
My parents began attending a bible study led by the man who had led the Faith Alive weekend, and my mother watched every gospel show on TV. I watched Pat Robertson on the 700 Club get "Words of Knowledge" about people who were being healed, and the stories of people's lives that were changed. I was becoming familiar with "Charismatic" things and I was learning about the gifts of the spirit.
I loved to sing and used to play the piano and organ at the church to amuse myself. When I was in High School my Grandfather invited a couple from an Assembly of God church to come and sing one Sunday morning. I sat with them at a potluck lunch afterward and I really connected with this couple. I knew they were born again, and I was drawn to the music they sang. They invited me to visit their church. So I did.
I had been reading a book called "Susan Atkins, Child of Satan, Child of God" right about the time that I went to visit this little Assembly of God church on a Sunday night. Susan Atkins had been involved in the Charles Manson murders, and got saved in prison. She was baptized in an old oil tank filled with water in the prison yard. This was the first time I had ever heard of adults being baptized. In the Anglican church, you had water sprinkled on your head as an infant. I was fascinated with the thought of being completely immersed in water as a symbol of beginning your new life in Christ.
The service started and when the music began, everyone was raising their hands and singing loudly, just like those Charismatic Episcopalians did. The music was nothing like the hymns and classical music that we sang as a choir accompanied by the organ at my Grandfather's church. It was old-time gospel songs and everyone clapped and some people played tambourines. The songs were very simple and repetitive, even corny, but the atmosphere was electric in that tiny chapel. Then the songs got slower, and as the song ended, they didn't stop singing. They kept singing on their own, making up their own melody and their own words. There was a melodic flow to their voices. They all sang something different, but yet it all blended together in some sort of odd way. It made me think of angels singing. Then, they began singing in strange words. Oh my. What was that? I came to learn later that they were singing in tongues.
Here is a video of a church singing spontaneously in tongues:
The music went on for a long time, almost an hour. I was nervous and afraid, but yet I loved it. This was a whole new world I knew nothing about, but I wanted to. I closed my eyes and sang, and I had this sensation of my body floating all the way up to the ceiling. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to open my eyes. When the worship was over, I opened my eyes and I was snapped back to reality and my feet were back on the floor. Darn! I wanted to float again!
We all sat down and the Pastor said that night was a special service. They were going to have a water baptism service. They had removed the flooring from the altar, and there was a water tank underneath the altar that looked like a large jacuzzi. I was shocked and delighted. I couldn't believe the "coincidence" that I had just read about water baptism, and now here I was watching it happen right before my very eyes. I knew I wanted more of this place. More of this, and more of God. There was more, much more. And I wanted it all. After that night, every Sunday morning I would sing in the choir at my Grandfather's church, and every Sunday night I attended the Assembly of God church. I had no idea that it may have been seen as "rebelling" against my family religion. I was going after God and that's all I knew.
Click here to watch a church do a water baptism service:
A couple of months later I was water baptized myself in that tank at that little church and my parents came to watch. I gave my testimony about how I had read that book and came to this church, and confessed in front of all of them that I had given my life to Jesus. I had become friends with a group of people in their teens and early 20's. One of them had been teaching me about the bible and the 2nd chapter of Acts, and the baptism of the Holy Spirit. That night, after church, I went into a room with a group of them and they all laid hands on me and prayed for me to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I began to speak in tongues! Again, I had that same feeling I had the night I got saved. I felt like I was floating for days after that! I was baptized twice that night. Once in water, and once in the Holy Ghost!
And thus began my journey in my Christian faith!
Back at my Grandfather's church, on Pentecost Sunday, they reenacted the story of Acts 2 when the Holy Spirit descended on everyone in the upper room and they began to speak in other tongues. They read from a script and someone spoke French, another Spanish, another Japanese. I hung my head because I couldn't believe their ignorance. They preferred to remain ignorant, and stay in their religious box. But wow, they were missing out on all the good stuff!
If you would like to begin your own journey getting to know Jesus, simply pray this prayer:
Here are two videos that teach about the Baptism of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues:
It's been many years since then and I have learned much, much more. It's been a wild ride! Since then most of my family are not Christians anymore, but I have remained faithful. I like to say "My middle name is Perseverance". Ha ha! I have been married for 34 years. I have four children, one of whom has severe Special Needs, and work in the design field. I sing, write songs and lead worship at my church. I am one of those creative, right brained types, and I think in pictures, so the Lord speaks to me in pictures. I am a "Seer". He speaks to me almost every night in dreams. And this is what has prompted me to begin my blog. The dreams that I have had over the past few years that I didn't understand, are starting to make sense. I keep a dream journal, so I'll be going back and referring to them. Years ago I didn't believe that dreams were from God, but I do now. We will talk about that in my next blog.
I'm learning that the dreams I have had are like puzzle pieces, (I'll talk about dreams in the next blog.) and suddenly the pieces are all starting to fit together. I had thought my dreams were only for myself, and my own life, but I am seeing now that there is a much bigger picture, and they are about the church and the world, and about the end times.
I am not a preacher, or an evangelist. I don't have a book to sell, or a TV show to promote. I am a regular person just like you. I am one of those people that has been hiding behind the scenes, waiting for God to tell me what to do. He has told me I am a "Watchman" and my voice is a "Trumpet". A watchman was someone who stood on the wall and looked out for potential danger, and if he saw the enemy approaching, he blew the trumpet to alert the people. I usually like to sit in the back of the room because I like to quietly observe everyone and see what's going on. But God always pushes me to the forefront into leadership positions, to speak, teach and sing in front of people. I do it out of obedience to my Lord, not because I want a spotlight. But it's time for me to begin sounding the trumpet.
I am going to begin sharing my dreams and the things I believe the Lord is teaching me. I am no expert on bible theology. I am just someone who asks God a lot of questions! I will share what I learn in case there are other out there like me who are having dreams, and experiencing things, and are wondering what in the world God is trying to say.
Let me make this very clear. I hate confrontation and I am not looking to debate with anyone. However, the things I'm going to be sharing are pretty heavy, so they may cause a reaction in your heart and mind. If so, talk to God about it, not me! I am going to speak what I believe God wants me to say. I'm not looking for comments, responses or emails. I'm just sharing what I'm hearing and learning, so just read the blog and then I encourage you to go and seek out answers yourself. Maybe I'll spark something in you, and that will begin your own quest to find answers to your own questions. I am merely a conduit.
Since I am very visual, an artist and a musician, I will use pictures, music and videos in my blogs. It's how I communicate the best. I'm very visual and God speaks to me through these things, so that's how I'll be communicating. I am a hands-on learner. I learn through life experience much better than sitting in a classroom. I have experienced a lot.The way God works with me is, I experience something first, and then he explains it to me later. I'm not one of those people that has to overthink and over-analyze everything first, and won't do things until all the numbers line up first. I am the type who jumps in and asks questions later. But that's probably because I have learned how to trust God completely. God created me, so he knows how to communicate with me in a way I will understand. My life is my classroom. I'm going to begin sharing it, because I believe there is a whole younger generation out there that doesn't know any of the things I have learned and experienced yet, and they need to know. I'm passing the torch I suppose.
So welcome, and fasten your seat belts, because you're in for a wild ride!
